I'm always delighted to be invited to share my advice in the Belfast Telegraph Parenting section. This article focused on communicating with your children and having difficult conversations.
Whether it's family changes, illness, loss, worries about school, bullying or upsetting news, many parents worry about saying the wrong thing. In reality, children don't expect us to have all the answers they simply need us to be present, honest and willing to listen.
Why these conversations matter
Over the past 10 years as a children's wellbeing coach, I've seen that children often know when something is wrong, even if adults try to protect them by avoiding the subject.
When children aren't given the opportunity to ask questions, they can fill in the gaps themselves, often imagining situations that are far scarier than reality.
Creating a safe space to talk helps children feel secure, understood and supported.
My advice for parents
When speaking with your child about a difficult topic, try to:
- Choose a calm, quiet moment where you won't be interrupted.
- Listen more than you speak.
- Answer questions honestly using age-appropriate language.
- Let your child know that all feelings are welcome.
- Reassure them that they are loved and supported.
- Accept that one conversation may become many conversations over time.
You don't need to have the perfect words. What children remember most is how safe they felt talking to you.
It's OK not to know all the answers
Parents often tell me they worry about making mistakes.
My advice is always the same:
Connection is far more important than perfection.
If your child asks a question you can't answer, it's perfectly okay to say:
"That's a really good question. I'm not sure, but let's find out together."
This teaches children that it's okay not to know everything and that learning together builds trust.
Supporting children's emotional wellbeing
Every difficult conversation is also an opportunity.
It's an opportunity to help children:
- understand their emotions
- build resilience
- develop trust
- learn healthy ways to communicate
- feel confident asking for help in the future.
These everyday conversations become the foundation of lifelong emotional wellbeing.